Mall Rats

I make it my goal in life to never go to the mall; I prefer online shopping. I have been relatively the same size in clothes for about 5 or so years, so I always know what will fit and what wont.

Yesterday morning I had finally assembled my Autumn 2012 wardrobe update list and I felt well, maybe instead of paying the extra $7 for shipping for one item, I would go to that awful place filled with teens and hormones and bad smelling food and Japanese people trying to massage me. I was feeling brave.

When I arrived, my anxiety suddenly flared up when I realized "Okay, you can either go through Sports Authority, up the escalator and then again.. it's a long journey and I hate sports gear OR walk really fast through Forever 21 and remember to look at the floor so you don't get even more overwhelmed by the complete and utter hot mess that it's existence is." Forever 21 it is. Bad call, I wont go into details but, seriously people. AH!

After getting lost twice looking for American Eagle (I once worked there back in December 2006 annnd got fired after my first week. It took me years to get over the sting of rejection from my first job, I even called it "American Evil" for awhile just to make myself feel better.) Anyway, back to my story. I was on the hunt for these specific pair of flats I saw online and decided they would make a good addition to my collection. The last pair in my size, I walk up to the counter all proud of my find only to get snuffed by THREE clerks working at the counter and being second in line to a women fighting with the clerk about a rewards card, I made eye contact with her and she says to me "What is your issue? What do you need?"

EXCUSE ME! I am the customer, I just got blown off by three AE goons who saw me holding a pair of merchandise standing in line. I wont get ruffled about the girl who was supposed to greet me at the door but decided to give me the stink eye and continue to look like she is enjoying fluffing man jeans and since we are on the topic I could've corrected her because once upon a time that was my AE duty and she was doing it wrong. When it was finally my turn to purchase these now stupid shoes I was not impressed at all with this adventure and steam may have been coming out of my ears, in hindsight I'm not sure. I put my shoes on the counter and give the girl a smile and then says "what are you smiling at?" I went to a place, I don't like to go. After the purchase was complete I calmly and firmly told this young lady "If you ever want me to come to this store ever again, you better learn some manners and respect for paying customers." I proceed to walk out with a slink in my step.

OH! here is another gem story of another Maine Mall indecent from the summer of 2010. I got attacked and then spat on by a Latino women in the GAP from grabbing the last pair of glittery leather sandals. The Mall cop who came out of literally no where attacked her to the ground while I was on the concrete floor in the fetal position with my arms covering my head and face. This nice mall cop kindly escorted me to my car just to make sure she was not lurking in the parking lot looking for another show down.

What is my problem with the mall and shoes? riddle me that. I think these experiences are enough reason to next time to go with my gut instinct and avoid that terrible place.

Without further ado, here are my new lil baaaabies. I love them so!


  1. Oh my goodness..what a story. I hate the mall too, online shopping is a must.

    Teaching Is Love


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