9 days

In 9 days it will be March 1st.
I made a pact with myself mid February that on March 1st I would start this running regimen.

I always have wanted to run; I think it sounds like the most enjoyable thing. To wake up, strap on your sneaks, head out the door and just go. To be in sync with the pavement while your feet pound against it. I don't know, but one thing I do know is every time I see a person running, I envy them and their commitment. I want beautiful toned legs that I'm not ashamed of, and dread wearing a bathing suit or shorts. I'm sick of that Maggie, I don't want to be her any longer. I'm sick of trying to hid my body's imperfection, when I could just eliminate the issue.

I also made a pact to myself that no longer will I purchase boxed food, eat anything that has artificial flavoring, refined sugar and carbs, cut down on going out for food. I have made it a solid three weeks. You know what? I feel a change from within, my skin is clearer, my moods more stable and I don't feel as sluggish. I no longer live to eat but rather eat to live.

I've been debating going vegetarian again, and I'm still stuck at the cross road. My decision is leaning heavily towards to not think about putting a label on what I choose to eat. Within my three weeks of being a part time vegetarian I've severely cut out red meat and have turned to chicken and salmon more, and when I choose to eat meat, poultry or fish it will be strictly local. I don't have an issue with the food itself but how the animals are treated on the farms where they are raised.

I truly no longer crave sugar or refined foods since eliminating them, sure that bowl of delicious mini chocolate bars 10 feet away from me at work may taste good but they do nothing good of me. I'm sick of that immediate guilt I have when I over indulge. By no means am I depriving myself though, I make a mean homemade chocolate pudding with avocado, cocoa powder, agave nectar and chia seeds; some of you may say "gross" but as an experiment the first time I made this, I didn't tell J. what was in the pudding. His response was "this is the most delicious chocolate pudding I've ever had". HAH. I tricked a trickster. Epic win.

When my Dad heard that I wanted to start running, his response with a grin was "I'll give her a week". I'm not saying or thinking this is going to be fun. I know it will suck at the beginning, I will be tired and sore, but I think the end result will be worth it. I want to cross off a 5k race from my bucket list.  

I've struggled and battled since 2002 with my body, from being 160 whopping pounds to a mere 105. I don't want to dread some articles of clothing, I want to proudly walk into my closet and throw on whatever and feel confident. I'm itchy for change.


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